Dementia Aids

Effective Communication with Dementia Patients: Phrases to Avoid

An open dictionary.

Caring for a loved one with dementia means you must use thoughtful communication to minimise distress and create a positive environment. In this guide, we explore phrases to avoid when speaking to someone with dementia and provide alternative approaches to enhance empathy and understanding. Importantly, though, don’t worry if you get things wrong – nobody is perfect!

Avoid Saying: “Don’t you remember?”

  • Why You Should Avoid It: Dementia often impairs memory, causing frustration.
  • Instead, Say: Gently provide the information or redirect the conversation.

2. Avoid Saying: “You’re wrong.”

  • Why You Should Avoid It: Correcting can lead to anxiety and frustration.
  • Instead, Say: Listen attentively and validate their feelings.

3. Avoid Saying: “I just told you that.”

  • Why You Should Avoid It: Repetition is common; being reminded can cause embarrassment.
  • Instead, Say: Respond as if it’s the first time, maintaining patience.

4. Avoid Saying: “You can do it; just try harder.”

  • Why You Should Avoid It: Dementia affects cognitive abilities.
  • Instead, Say: Offer encouragement and focus on their efforts.

5. Avoid Saying: “Do you remember [person’s name]?”

  • Why You Should Avoid It: Asking about specific people can distress.
  • Instead, Say: Use open-ended questions or share related stories.

6. Avoid Saying: “You’re being difficult.”

  • Why You Should Avoid It: It may increase agitation.
  • Instead, Say: Approach challenges with patience and empathy.

7. Avoid Saying: “That’s not true; you’re just confused.”

  • Why You Should Avoid It: It can feel dismissive and cause frustration.
  • Instead, Say: Acknowledge their feelings and redirect the conversation.

8. Avoid Saying: “Just trust me; I know what’s best for you.”

  • Why You Should Avoid It: Dementia patients value their independence.
  • Instead, Say: Offer choices to empower their decision-making.

9. Avoid Saying: “You used to be so [compliment].”

  • Why You Should Avoid It: It can make them feel inadequate.
  • Instead, Say: Compliment their current abilities and qualities.

10. Avoid Saying: “Calm down.” – Why You Should Avoid It: It may escalate agitation. – Instead, Say: Use a soothing tone and non-verbal cues for reassurance.

In all interactions with dementia patients, prioritising empathy, patience, and flexibility is key. Adapt your communication to their needs, and focus on maintaining a supportive atmosphere. By being mindful of your words and tone, you can significantly enhance their quality of life and your caregiving relationship.

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